The underwear you gave me aren’t mine

After you breakup with someone there is always the awkward meet-up to exchange the items you stocked away at each others house. He had a drawer; I had a box under the sink. He had way more stuff at my house than I did at his…RED FLAG! I think he mainly had more of his stuff at mine because I had a washer and had mistaken me for his mother? Either way, more stuff than he needed to have there. After I dropped his crap at his house, a few days later I found more! So I texted him and asked if I could drop it by and he offered to pick it up. After pleading with me to take him back on my porch we said our goodbyes and an hour later I got a text “the underwear you gave me aren’t mine”. Thank god it was a text and not in person because I was must have looked like a deer in headlights as he almost runs me over with his 1998 Lexus Coupe. I take a moment, regroup and realized OMG I just gave my EX-BOYFRIEND my EX-HUSBANDS underwear! (Let’s rewind for one moment…I had just cleaned out the laundry room and found a bunch of crap behind the dryer. I threw everything in the wash and when I took it out of the dryer made an ex-boyfriend pile and forgot about it…never thinking my ex-husbands stuff would even still be in my house. Don’t judge me…how often do you clean behind your dryer! See…I am still perfect!) Anyway, so fast forward to texting him back. I completely blame it on my nanny! I told him that my nanny had just washed her boyfriends stuff at my house the other day. I said, just toss them…he will never notice! Then I realized my ex-husbands underwear is sitting in my ex-boyfriends trash! That is just flippin’ perfect…can my life get anymore entertaining!? If someone ever gets a drawer again, I’ll invest in a label maker!