Southern Boy

 

When you Google© Southern Boy the Urban Dictionary defines this man as a “white male that has manners and believes in traditional values”. I am sorry but this is a smoke screen to the real Southern Boy…or at least the Southern Boy I met last week. Now let me start off with a disclaimer…not all Southern Boys fall into the story I am about to share with you…and if you found a good Southern Boy hold him close because he might be a rare find in California! This man I met seemed very nice at first. I was planning on seeing a movie by myself on a Saturday night and he asked if he could join. Sure, why not…just don’t try to talk to me while I am watching the movie and try to hold my hand or touch my leg and I will move to the other side of the theater, throw on a wig and you’ll never find me in the sea of people! He was very nice…purchased my movie ticket, popcorn, opened doors and most of all didn’t try to touch me! First RED FLAG…he said he has a rule book. Girls, let me tell you this…red flags are usually not a figment of your imagination! They are signs from whatever god you pray to, women’s intuition, or whatever else you want to call it…they are just that…RED FLAGS! I will get into RED FLAGS another time…for now we are talking Southern Boy. We grab a coffee after the movie and walk around the bookstore for an hour talking. He offered up great conversation and after the book store closed we headed over for a very late dinner. Again, great conversation and ended the night without a kiss…just a hug! There is nothing wrong with not kissing on the first date. REMEMBER you need to respect yourself before anyone else will respect you. He asked me out the next day and I said yes. Sure, why the heck not…he said lets do lunch after church. Well apparently he meant that he was going to watch me eat lunch after church while we walked around the mall. Okay, right then I should have walked away but I thought, I am already here…why not see what he has to offer. Lord help me for what happened next…he wanted to see ANOTHER movie. So I agreed, we see another movie and I put up that imaginary wall so he wouldn’t touch me. By the end of the movie he had my hand like we were in 8th grade! Give me a break guy…buy me lunch first! That is 1st base if I was 14! Date ends and again no kiss...I am 30 years old…I am not making out in a parking lot in broad daylight where children are passing by. So I gave him a hug and said adios! We talked a lot over the next few days and I realized he was not the man for me. Remember, we just met on Saturday…by Thursday we had seen each other three times and he mentioned in passing that I was his girlfriend. Okay dude, I didn’t realize I was placed on a shelf for purchase…if that is the case, I am defective…return my ass! The last straw with this man is he expected me to pay for dinner on Friday night because I suggested it. Oh yea, forgot to mention…another rule he has…suggestion rule. Southern Boy Definition: When in a relationship…You suggest, you pay. Ummm…excuse me sir, but I didn’t realize we were in a relationship! So I told him, we aren’t in a relationship and ended it right there! True colors came shining through; I was told I was greedy, selfish, etc. I really feel sorry for the next girl that comes in contact with this Southern Boy. Long story long…he was a jerk. Another man down…who’s next?